Meredith Carson... Across the Pond and Back Again...

Yesterday I sat between my daughter and a friend's daughter at our church's family Christmas eve service.  There were poinsettias and angels and candles everywhere.  The message was about love and life and Christmas, familiar stories told with language that moved me deeply.  We sang the hymn "Star Child" in the middle of the sermon, and I was done for.  I felt that wonderful, painful, upside down, happy and sad feeling that wells up in my rib cage and emerges through my tear ducts.  I almost went into the "ugly cry" there for a moment. After the service was over, the mother of a very dear friend who was seated nearby grabbed me forcefully and hugged me like only a mama can; just what I needed.  She spoke warmly in my ear, "Thank you for being my daughter's friend."  Of course I welled up again.  I felt overwhelmed as the reality of my blessings snapped into clear focus.  I felt euphoric and filled wi...

Eleven years isn't so very long, but I am now a different person than I was then.  Eleven years ago I was twenty four years old, and I had rainbows in my eyes.  The future that I pictured was a perfect continuation of the fairy tale that had begun to blossom in my imagination.  Perfect fairy tales, however, are rather boring, and we learn very little when everything is perfect . Superficially I didn't have any wrinkles or stretch marks eleven years ago.  I had never spent a sleepless night taking care of someone else.  The girl in the picture above didn't know a whole lot about selfless giving.  For the record the girl sitting at the keyboard typing still has quite a bit to learn on that topic. When I looked, mesmerized, into my brand new husband's face eleven years ago, I never imagined that I could gaze upon him and feel anything less than euphoria.  Eleven years ago I was well-rested, and his pranks were always adorable.  His raggedy Ba...