To begin I know that there are Moms who like to fix things and haul crap around in the back of a pick up truck. I know that there are some Dads in the world who can bake adorable cupcakes and plait up the meanest french braid you've ever seen. I also strive to teach my girls that they can basically do all of the stuff that boys traditionally do except play on the "skins" team in a "shirts vs. skins" basketball game. If you don't know me by now, you will never, never, never know me.
All of that being said, it is true that my husband and I tend to fall into pretty traditional gender roles at our house. I stay home with the kids, live much of my life in the kitchen (often whilst barefoot), and I am the one who gathers food, clothing, and home necessities around town. My husband works in the outside world, organizes our finances, and takes care of home maintenance and pest control. It works well for us most of the time. So... this post is less about gender roles and more about the fact that my kids are incredibly blessed to have two parents with completely different skill sets. Both of us are eager to pass along what we each consider to be essential life skills.
Not every kid is lucky enough to have a mom and a dad. I spent most of my childhood in a cozy house with just my mom, and I was a very lucky kid to be sure. My mom taught me how to use hot rollers and lip liner. She helped me learn how to express my feelings and encouraged my quirky sense of humor. She took me on vacations to big cities and taught me how to appreciate room service and hot showers. Life was good.
But as I was growing up no one taught me how to use a level or an electric drill. I never learned to suck it up and deal with a spider without leaping onto the nearest piece of furniture whilst squealing and pulling my invisible petticoats up to my chin. I also never learned to appreciate vacations that involved "roughing it" in any sense of the phrase. I am still working on every item listed above, but I am also enjoying a bit of a second childhood with my kids. Together their Dad and I are working to ensure that they have a very well-rounded childhood. Lots of times I sit back and try to soak up some of the "boy skills" that my girls are learning from their patient and clever Dad. (My ten year old would most certainly find it obnoxious that I am labeling them "boy skills," as she should.) And even though I'd much rather have room service and a hot shower, I am so glad that my girls have developed a fondness for camping and the great outdoors.
Otherwise we'd miss out on moments like these...
All of that being said, it is true that my husband and I tend to fall into pretty traditional gender roles at our house. I stay home with the kids, live much of my life in the kitchen (often whilst barefoot), and I am the one who gathers food, clothing, and home necessities around town. My husband works in the outside world, organizes our finances, and takes care of home maintenance and pest control. It works well for us most of the time. So... this post is less about gender roles and more about the fact that my kids are incredibly blessed to have two parents with completely different skill sets. Both of us are eager to pass along what we each consider to be essential life skills.
Not every kid is lucky enough to have a mom and a dad. I spent most of my childhood in a cozy house with just my mom, and I was a very lucky kid to be sure. My mom taught me how to use hot rollers and lip liner. She helped me learn how to express my feelings and encouraged my quirky sense of humor. She took me on vacations to big cities and taught me how to appreciate room service and hot showers. Life was good.
But as I was growing up no one taught me how to use a level or an electric drill. I never learned to suck it up and deal with a spider without leaping onto the nearest piece of furniture whilst squealing and pulling my invisible petticoats up to my chin. I also never learned to appreciate vacations that involved "roughing it" in any sense of the phrase. I am still working on every item listed above, but I am also enjoying a bit of a second childhood with my kids. Together their Dad and I are working to ensure that they have a very well-rounded childhood. Lots of times I sit back and try to soak up some of the "boy skills" that my girls are learning from their patient and clever Dad. (My ten year old would most certainly find it obnoxious that I am labeling them "boy skills," as she should.) And even though I'd much rather have room service and a hot shower, I am so glad that my girls have developed a fondness for camping and the great outdoors.
Otherwise we'd miss out on moments like these...
My husband taught me how to make S'mores as an adult, but my two-year-old is already a pro. (It is important to NOT completely incinerate your marshmallow. One should endeavor, as my ten year old instructs, to roast it gently until you achieve the ideal shade of "crystal brown" perfection.)
My ten-year-old does not hesitate. If there is a lake nearby, she's going in (in her clothes). Sometimes there isn't time to bother with a bathing suit. I am, however, glad that on this particular occasion, she kicked off her new shoes before wading in. She is glad when her Dad is there to figuratively put his hand over my mouth as I begin to protest. "It's okay. It's fine." he affirms, "If she doesn't care about having wet clothes for the rest of the day, why should you?" Sometimes I hear his voice even when he's not around, and I take a deep breath and just shut up.
My kids' Dad also taught all three of them to fly a kite, even the two year old, who managed to keep her feet firmly on the ground at all times (and only let go of the kite string twice.) Don't tell anyone, but I felt strongly compelled to snatch the kite string away from someone and run with it through the field shouting, "Wheee!!" Somehow I missed out on kite flying as a kid. My daughter Sophia was the least impressed. She said that looking up at her kite so high in the sky made her feel small and dizzy, like gravity might stop working at any moment and she could go falling upward. Mom was there to say, "I know what you mean. The Universe is so huge, it's dizzying,"
...and Dad was there to say, "Yeah that's interesting, but look, you can make your kite dance by pulling and letting out the line."
I'll have you know I am not completely useless. On our recent camping trip, I took these two explorers down by the wetlands where we examined plants, observed fish, frogs, and birds, and listened to a twilight orchestra made up of noisy insects and critters.
But mostly THIS is my favorite thing to do in the great outdoors. Give me a sweaty, sleepy little kid to cradle, and I am one happy camper.
So... to conclude I am ever so happy to teach my girls how to make perfect waffles, and proper cups of tea. I will continue to pass along my secret home remedies for colds and bad bellies, and just try to stop me when it comes to correcting the grammar and spelling on homework papers. But I am so glad that this guy is around to teach my little girls that being warm and cozy and comfortable isn't the only way.
Sometimes getting wet and dirty and having an adventure is exactly what a girl needs.
(It's also nice to know that mom will be there with a towel and cup of tea for you when you get back home.)
Thank heaven for little (and big) boys.
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