Meredith Carson... Across the Pond and Back Again...

Not much to write about today; just thought I'd post a semi-smiley photo of the Lili monster. For a few weeks it seemed I had her internal clock sorted, but for the past week, she's been back to her old, wicked, Carson ways... up at all hours of the night. Mind you, she isn't unpleasant, just awake and eager for company. Last night at around midnight I took her downstairs to George and handed her (wide awake and grinning) over to him: "Here, you two deserve each other!" I said. Three hours later, bless his heart, George stumbled into our bedroom and mumbled, "I have to go to sleep now. Can you take her back?" I hadn't meant for him to stay up half the night with her, but I must say, I think that was the best three hours of sleep I've ever had. Now... looking ahead to tonight...perhaps things will be better?? She is two months old today. High time she learned to sleep at night, I say.

Lili has taken some big steps out in the world this weekend! On Friday she went with George and me to the cinema for the first time in her life. We thoroughly enjoyed our outing with vampires and werewolves while Lili tuned it all out and had a nice, long nap. Then last night, all four of us Carson girls went to see our lone Carson dude on stage in the charming seasonal comedy, My Three Angels . We all enjoyed our night out (although Sophie is a complete grizzly bear today since we didn't get home until after 11 pm). We were very proud of George who seemed to be having the time of his life up on stage again. During the show our little Nosy Parker was bright as a button the entire time. Any time she threatened to kick up a fuss, I quickly shoved her up my blouse where she seemed to be perfectly happy. Everyone complimented her afterwards on her excellent behavior. (The other two girls were well-mannered little ladies too, by the way.) Keeping Miss Lili-pie content throughout the en...

George's dramatic debut in Wales happens tomorrow night. He is starring in the Radyr Drama Society's production of My Three Angels . Yes, I think he was completely mad to take this on when we were expecting a new baby, but I think it has been a nice outlet for him during this stressful time. Speaking of madness, I am taking all three girls to see the show on Saturday night! God, be with me! Above: George (Jules), Martin (Joseph), and Jim (Alfred), three convicts who are overcome with the Christmas spirit

Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful, where the streams of abundance flow, blessed be Your name. And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place, though I walk through the wilderness, blessed be Your name. Every blessing You pour out, I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say... Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your name. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Blessed be Your glorious name... I have often sung along with these lyrics in church but wondered if I really meant it. Would I really still be able to "praise" God in the really bad times? As a young woman, I spent a good bit of time feeling quite angry with God about my situation. Looking back on it now, I realize that my situation then was all to do with my own attitude. These days I appreciate how truly fortunate I am when so many others in the world are struggling and suffering, but it is easy to be grateful when the fish are jumpin' and...

We are celebrating Thanksgiving early again this year. As I type I am feeding Lili her appetizer. Our guests are expected in half an hour, and, as usual, George has just gone upstairs to get a shower. Thanksgiving is a pretty exciting day. This morning Sophie bounded into my bedroom (where I was feeding Lili her early breakfast), and gave me a card she had made. The front said: To Mom, Happy Thanksgiving. Inside was a picture of Lili, and she had written, "Thank you for making this baby." I think we are all feeling especially thankful for Lili this year and for the fact that I am recovering well from all of my drama! Once again this year our Thanksgiving celebration has coincided with the Radyr Parish's Christmas Fayre, so I took ALL of the girls over to the church this morning for some "fun and fellowship." Lili slept through the entire affair in my front carrier. Emma & Sophie had their faces painted to look like Snow Queens... Above... This was my view o...

Even though the forecast called for rain and gale force winds, it has turned out to be an absolutely beautiful day. So after having my wound packed fiercely by the very gentle-looking Nurse Michelle at my local GP, Lili and I along with my adventurous friend Sonia hit the Taff Trail for some exercise, fresh air and sunshine. It was an especially good work out for me since I had Lili strapped to my chest in the ' Snugli ' carrier. The River Taff was raging due to our recent deluge; the trail was completely mucky, and I was in high spirits, filling my five senses with life once again! Afterwards Lili was full of smiles so the fresh air must have done her good too. Now I am off to make either carrot cake or cranberry & white chocolate chunk cookies in anticipation of our Thanksgiving feast tomorrow!

... I'm starting to get my groove back. I haven't even thought about blogging this week because I have been too busy feeling human again!! Cooking meals and doing laundry has never felt so good. Obviously I am still up with Lil several times in the night, but she seems to settle down quickly after each feed. Today she has been positively slumberous, so I hope she won't make up for lost time at 3 am... yes, hopefully we are past all of that...touch wood. I have been visiting the practice nurses at my local GP to have my wound cared for this week, and they have been very encouraging, even saying that after this week the wound will likely no longer need daily dressing. That's what I'm talking about, Mr. Nasty-Discouraging-Breast-Consultant! (Prayer, positive thinking and healthy eating, thank you very much!) And since I know you've been wondering... with the wound healing up so nicely, milk is no longer leaking out of it. This is a huge improvement in terms of my ...

It figures that the first week I am well enough to get out of the house a bit, the Welsh weather returns. The majority of this week has been cold, very rainy and windy. Yes, I am complaining and grouchy. I am sore and awkward and have been hauling a screaming baby in and out of the car in rubbish weather for the last two days... and I don't like it. Lili has also been a very unhappy bunny these last few days...which brings me to the topic of Sophie's magic fingers as pictured below.... Sophie, of course, is the one who decided that her own fingers were magical, and she is convinced that they can stop any baby from crying. The magic fingers do seem to work temporarily, and honestly even few seconds of respite from screaming and crying is always welcome. Oh, how I admire that Sophie-confidence and wish I had some magical body parts myself these days!! What I do have is a wound that is healing very well according to the district nurses who visit me each day. They seem to always b...

Today was a good day. There is a superstitious part of me that hated typing that last statement since the last time I did, it all went pear-shaped shortly thereafter. But I say pooh-pooh to superstition; it WAS a good day. Lili allowed me five very broken and interrupted hours of sleep last night, and that is an improvement. This morning after breakfast, Lili gave Sophie the biggest grin ever, and Sophie was thrilled that she had elicited such a fabulous response from her "so adorable baby sister." I actually took a shower and washed my hair (for the first time in four days-- Ew .) The district nurse visited and gave me a positive report about the healing progress of my wound. It will still have to be packed daily for a few more weeks, but there is no infection and all seems to be healing very well. My friend Sonia and I took Lili out for the first time ever in her pram. She loved the movement and the cool, fresh air and subsequently took a fantastic long nap allo...

It's a good thing she's this cute... Nosy Parker has kept me up for what feels like most of the night for the last three nights now. She isn't crying or upset... or even hungry... just awake... and nosy. It occurred to me this morning that I have now weaned off all of my pain killers, so now that she is no longer getting codeine-laced breast milk, it would make sense that she'd be a bit more awake and alert. Unfortunately I do not feel at all in the mood to socialize with her at 2 am. I am really hoping that she will fall into a normal, human sleep pattern soon, but I am afraid I may have another Carson vampire on my hands. Heaven help me!

My three little ladies in their pajamas this morning... Serves me right for bragging about how good I was feeling a couple of days ago... for the past two nights, Miss Nosy Parker has decided that it's party time in the middle of the night. If you want to spend some quality time with Lili, drop by around 3 am. I blame our completely unscheduled week in the hospital. Regardless of what is to blame, I am exhausted. Sophie thinks it's quite funny that "she's nocturnal." I am unable to find the humor at the moment. Ah well... this too shall pass, and we did indeed know what we were getting ourselves into the third time around. Here's hoping for a bit more sleep in the wee hours tonight!

Today was better than yesterday, and with any luck, tomorrow will be a bit better than today. I started my day on the receiving end of a few Lili smiles. What could be better? She and I also managed to get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep in the night. The baby nappy taped under my bra did the trick, so for the first time since my surgery I wasn't soaked when I woke up. Hooray! I am starting to feel genuinely human again. "100%" and "normal" are goals reserved for the future, but for today, I am thrilled with the improvements I am experiencing. George took this photo of Lili and me this afternoon. We are standing in front of our new living room wall colour: Intense Truffle. No, I'm not sure what the expression on Lili's face is all about. Give her a break. She's only a month old. She is still working on her look. ("Baby Blue Steel"?) Miss Lili is indeed growing. The nurses weighed her a week ago when I was in the hospital, and she tipped...

...and it's mostly good. Each day I am feeling a tiny bit better. Each day when the district nurses come to change my wound dressing, they say it looks good and clean. Each day I honestly feel more grateful than anything else. I am so grateful to have a healthy, happy, (spoiled rotten) baby. Having a baby to take care of means there is no time to wallow and feel sorry for myself. I have had a few dark moments, but I have cried them out and then gotten back to life. I am also grateful that things are not worse. My issues, although painful and thoroughly inconvenient, are not life threatening. I have had truly excellent medical care that has all been completely free. (You will never hear me preaching about the evils of 'socialized medicine'. My care has been fantastic, and it is the same care that a prince or a pauper would have received. And that is all I shall say about that.) I truly do have so very much to be thankful for. I thought about this today when I p...

No, I didn't expect to be in the hospital recovering from surgery on Halloween, but that's just where I was. Above Lili and I are pictured all dressed up for Halloween. In case you cannot tell, she was a gorgeous little sleeping pumpkin. I was obviously a scary, naked lady who hadn't showered in a week... wait, that wasn't a costume unfortunately. So to re-cap... my hopeful attitude after last Monday's boob eruption was not rewarded with a miraculous recovery. Instead when we returned to hospital on Wednesday, Dr Eleri stabbed me with a giant needle a couple of times for posterity, then declared that that obviously wasn't doing the trick. I was going to need another surgery... just when things were starting to get back to normal after my c-section. Boo- hoo . After being starved for several hours (that's the medical term, not just my being overly dramatic), I was taken into the operating theatre on Wednesday evening. Prior to the surgery, I met my sur...