Meredith Carson... Across the Pond and Back Again...

This is what just came downstairs... Sophie and Emma as "Dad and Mum" I love having kids.

Life will never be perfect again. I was fooling myself all along when I thought I could make things just right, but that is my nature. I tend to make lists and plan out how everything should go on special occasions... much like Will Ferrell's character in Elf: "First we'll make snow angels for two hours, then we'll go ice skating. Then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then...we'll snuggle!" But this year with three children, I have officially had to let go of my inner perfectionist. I let go of the lists of things that are supposed to happen at Christmastime and just went with the flow. This year's gingerbread house (pictured above) was entirely kid-created, apart from a little help with the assembly from our resident engineer. Honestly, I think it's the happiest-looking gingerbread house we've ever had. Also, there just wasn't time to make the traditional Christmas cookies this year with every...

So far our Christmas has been stress-free and perfect. Kids playing happily, Lili snoozing and cooing at us, good food... yes, just what we all needed. Santa Claus came last night and brought some fun little treats, but my girls were most excited about the gifts they had bought for me... a beautiful sterling silver Celtic necklace and matching earrings AND another beautiful necklace which depicts our new family of five locked in an embrace. Santa also brought me a new Cath Kidston bag , so I am feeling completely spoiled. For the record, Emma and Sophie's favourite presents were: Sylvanian play sets and the Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat DVD. (Maybe now they will stay off Youtube trying to watch it constantly!) Hope you find yourself in the midst of a peaceful and joyous Christmas wherever you are this year! Love... Meredith

I've been resting (sort of) and recovering this week as well as making peace with giving up breast feeding. I took my last dose of antibiotics last night and am still expressing milk every five hours or so. It is my hope that I will be able to keep up my supply just enough to do that last feed with Lili when the drugs have cleared my system. I think this will make me feel a little better about it all. I have an appointment for a scan tomorrow just to be sure that all is well. Our family is also getting back to normal a bit. Yesterday all of us went out to the cinema to see A Christmas Carol in 3D. My children were very familiar with the story, but the film itself was pretty terrifying for then. Lili was somewhat distressed by the noise, and I contemplated how much easier it was to take her to the movies when I had the milk / comfort on tap. Never mind all of that... I think it was important for us all to have a "normal" day out as a family to prove to ourselves that w...

I am smiling again today. I am coming to terms with my grief and getting a grip on my hormones. Today the health visitor called me and said, "You know when you have to stop nursing suddenly, your hormone levels drop. You need to be taking your fish oil." Yes, yesterday I started to work out the fact that hormones were at play. I know it is normal to be sad when in my situation, but I was crying bucket loads of tears. So... I have now resumed the fish oil that had been forgotten in the midst of all of this madness and other medications. I have also added B-complex and have been turning on my SAD lamp in the mornings. Not least of all, I finally got to watch the sneak peek of Glee last night here in the UK, and that perked me up instantly and took me back to my own high school show choir days. Today Emma has been off school with a horrible case of tonsillitis. (Seriously, you should see this girl's tonsils!) We had a really nice day together with Lili. We listened to lo...

The above picture of Grandma Sophia bottle feeding Lili absolutely breaks my heart (although Sophie loved the opportunity to feed her baby sister). This weekend has been a rough and emotional one for me. On Friday evening, just after the doctor's office closed (of course), I started experiencing pain in the previously dubbed "good boob." An hour or so later, flu-like symptoms hit me like a freight train. I was shivering uncontrollably and cursing the carrots and hummus I had eaten earlier as they returned... Hmmm... Ever tried to nurse a baby while throwing up? Looking back on it, that was pretty impressive. I was 99% sure I had mastitis. My "bosom buddy" Sonia drove me over to the Heath hospital where we saw a friend of ours who was the GP on call that evening. She confirmed that it looked and sounded like mastitis and gave me another round of antibiotics to start taking immediately. Saturday wasn't any better. Because of the infection my milk supply was...

Yesterday was a good day to be a mom. I got to go to two Christmas concerts which featured my children singing lovely songs about stars and angels and the good news of Christmas. In the morning Lili and I went to the Radyr Primary Junior's concert. I sat next to my good friend Sonia, and as we waited for the show to start, we cheekily discussed how Gok Wan might improve on the fashion choices of some of the staff and teachers. 'Tis the season to be catty, I suppose. (Seriously though, Gok could have a field day.) ...And then the show began. After the Year Sixes performed (not once, but twice ) a tedious yet imaginative version of The 12 Days of Christmas (which included "9 'Jedwards' Dancing"), the Year Fives shared a fantastic medley of songs from the musical Oliver! Then it was finally time for the traditional Christmas nativity musical put on by Years 3 and 4. The music was really lovely. Dear Emma sang her little heart out and gazed lovingly at her mother...

This is what I get to snuggle up with today... "Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is God. Where there is God, there is BLISS." --Sri Sathya Sai Baba Hope you find a bit of bliss today wherever you are.

When I go back and visit the States, as I recover from the reverse culture shock that ensues upon seeing scads of superstores and restaurants lining the sides of every major road, I am always struck by how friendly the complete strangers in these places are. I never really appreciated it when I lived in North Carolina, but the place is chock full of outgoing, friendly folks. Back in Hick'rey, you'd think nothing of asking a stranger in the grocery store if they'd tried the new Sara Lee frozen Key Lime pie on aisle 7. You'd absolutely expect the guy with "Ricky" stitched on the front of his shirt to hold the door for you as you exited the store with a load of shopping bags. (He might even help you to your car, especially if you were pregnant or had children, and then he'd say, "Have a nice day, ma'am," and he would actually mean it .) You would totally strike up a conversation with that lady in the waiting room at the dentist office when you ...

What's going on?

Well, if your name is Lilianna Carson, then the answer to that question is: EVERYBODY!! What a lucky little girl! We have all fallen head over heels for her. Today my brother in law requested a photo of all three children, and I realized that due to all of my drama, there really weren't any decent photos of all three children. So, when everyone was in a fairly civilized mood right after school, I managed to capture a few pics. Lili has also managed to catch her first cold, and she is completely pitiful. 'Tis the season, I suppose. Speaking of the season, Emma and Sophie are gearing up for their school Christmas concerts. Both are playing angels, and I have been busy trying to sort out their costumes. They have also both been rather secretive about their impending performances. Sophie did inform me today that three wise men brought Jesus gifts of "gold, insects and myrrh," so it sounds like she is right on track. Now I am off to help Lili cope with the abundance of sn...