Today I grit my teeth and did it; I went to the most treacherous Tesco at Talbot Green less than a week before Christmas. I decided to go "with a Christmas heart," which worked out well except in the car park. Finding a parking bay involved lurking and avoiding the poisonous glares of other drivers. Something happens to us humans when we get in our cars and have to contend with traffic and crowds. We seem to forget that all of the other cars carry other humans just like us. We snarl and shout horrible things we'd never say to a person in passing on the street... but, you all know how that goes. Luckily after a bit of deep breathing and a prayer to sweet baby Jesus, I managed to find a legal place to park and headed into the store full of hundreds of other people who also wanted to be elsewhere.
I had planned to order my shopping online and have it delivered, but apparently, if you want your shopping delivered the week of Christmas, you are required to book months in advance. All of the slots were full. Everyone else thought this was a brilliant idea too. Everyone, that is, except for the hundreds of shoppers with whom I communed today.
Having realistic expectations (as well as a Christmas heart) made the entire experience a bit more tolerable. I found several fellow shoppers who were happy to join in with my lighthearted moaning as I attempted to squeeze my trolley through the jam-packed aisles. I also had to laugh out loud when I came across an adolescent boy wielding a roll of gift wrap like a Samurai sword (complete with appropriate sound effects). Finally his grandmother stopped investigating the clementines long enough to turn around and ask, "What is wrong with you, lad!?" To which he replied,
"I'm a twelve year old boy in a shop with my Nan the week before Christmas. I don't want to be here. What do you expect?!" A rather loud laugh escaped my mouth to even my own surprise. Nan didn't think it was quite as funny.
Finally after finding everything on my list, I headed to the till where I was surprised to meet a very friendly cashier. She even helped me with my packing without having to be asked. (This is major.) By the time she had sorted me and all of my groceries out, we knew practically everything about each other. I even felt comfortable enough with her to ask why in the h*ll she had green, glittery hair. (This lady was pleasantly plump, middle aged, and rather conservative-looking, apart from the green hair.) She answered, "Oh, it's because it's 'Mad Hair Day'." I had to ask her to repeat herself as my brain reeled through everything I've learned about British culture. How did I miss this holiday for the last 4 years?
Yes, it was "Mad Hair Day" for Tesco employees, an attempt to be festive and jolly for the holidays. She confirmed that it was "just for laughs" but at the same time ,"not optional." I had a quick glance around and realized that, yes, all of the other till minders were glittery or mohawked or something. I found this really amusing, and having already expressed to her that I didn't want to set foot in the treacherous Tesco again until the new year, she told me (in her lovely Welsh accent), "Oh, you'll be back...Come next Tuesday. It's 'Heroes and Villains' Day!" It might almost be worth it to see her in her Wonder Woman costume, but I think I will stay far away from Tesco next week. Anything I don't have, I will do without.
On another note...today was the kids' last day of school so....let the holiday fun begin!!!
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