Being pregnant is a worrisome time for me as much as I hate it. I know for most it is a joyous and exciting time, and it is certainly that for me as well, but it also brings on big-time stress and worry because of my "issues" and my nature. I had five years to forget about the worry. Back at Christmastime when we were looking at all of our kids' old baby pictures and feeling all broody, no one remembered the worry, but it's here again with this pregnancy.
That is part of the reason I haven't been blogging as much. I don't want to write about my fears. You see when I am pregnant, not only do I worry more, but I also become more superstitious. I feel that committing my fears to paper...or the Internet...or even saying them aloud gives them power, and right now, they don't need to be any more powerful. I am continuing with positive thoughts and daily affirmations (Stuart Smalley style, of course) and am also trying to listen to my "Baby Stay In" hypnosis track. But I am not writing about my daily woes. Who would want to read about that anyway?
Trips to my local midwives generally make me feel worse because they only remind me that I am far from home and cannot expect the same level of care or any sort of prophylaxis here, so I have to take this on as a personal challenge. I must take control of my own body and will it to behave. A little prayer never hurt either.
On a much more positive note, I have felt the first few nudges and rumblings from the baby this past weekend, and that has to be the best thing about being pregnant. Emma and Sophie are both desperate to feel the baby move as well, but I'm sure it will be a few more weeks before they can. For now it is my private joy.
There have been several times throughout this week when one of the kids has said something really funny that I thought I should write down. Of course, by the time I go to write it down, "baby brain" has taken over and I have completely forgotten it. Just yesterday I was asking Emma, "What was that really funny thing you said just now in the car??" She, of course, didn't realize she had said anything funny ever.
The only thing I do remember happened on Saturday. Sophie was very tired and grumpy, so I took her upstairs and curled her hair all over with the curling tongs. By the time I was finished she looked like Shirley Temple...or toddler Emma. She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "Wow! I look like a SEXY Grandma!"
"What??" I asked, having NO idea what she was talking about. She thought for a moment and then responded,
"Wait, no...I mean a Hot Mama."
Don't you love the way kids think?
Hope you all have a great week. The sun is shining here now and I am not having any contractions, so it is a great day!!
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